Making My Childhood Self Proud
It's impossible to write a post summarizing 2017 without acknowledging what a challenging year it has been on a national and global scale. The constant negativity, chaos and tragedy streaming through the news cycles has made an impact on our societal psyche - and my personal psyche as well. While politics has weighed heavily on me this year, I am an optimist at my core - and I wanted to reflect on what 2017 has meant to me personally.
If I had to sum up 2017 for my personally, I would have to say that this year I made my childhood self proud. When we are children, it is so easy to dream big. We can dream of living an adult life where we are a pastry chef in the morning, a veterinarian in the afternoon and an actress at night. As we go through life, we forget many of our dreams - or we get bogged down into thinking either we cannot do things or should not do them. In 2017 I realized that the things that often bring me the most joy are the things that would have brought little Jessica joy too.
While in Belize swimming with manatees this June, I thought about how 1997 Jessica would of been beside herself - and how 2017 Jessica thought the experience was magical too. In February I met one of my idols, writer Ian Rankin, at an intimate book reading at the Booksmith. A few days later I was at the David Douchovney concert where he proceeded to dance and run through the audience, brushing past me. 2002 Jessica would of cried on both of these occasions - 2017 Jessica nearly cried, but was too busy smiling so hard there was no room for tears. And I can only imagine how proud my younger self would be knowing that I was not only pursuing my passion for non-profit art making, but moving to Paris. All I ever wanted when I was little was to live in San Francisco and Paris - and in 2017 was the year to make that second part come together.
Little Jessica would have been so happy that 2017 was also filled with so much time with family. Between getting to spend a quality weekend with my Grandmother in February going through family photos as far back as the 1850's, to going to Disneyland with my siblings, to visiting my mother and family in Massachusetts twice - I felt like I got to spend so much of this year with people I love.
Living up to my childhood dreams has helped remind me not only of what brings my innate self joy, but also what makes me "me". As I head into 2018 in a whole new country, I hope I continue to pursue the things that bring me this same joy and remember this lesson as I also discover new and exciting things that make 2018 Jessica happy.
